Thought Nugget 1

I really want to talk when I really should be listening.

I've begun to realize that no one is really listening to what I have to say. Maybe it's not really needed or I'm surrounded by people who don't really care. So I'm going to spend this year listening more and what I do have to say, I'll write it down. If I still feel like saying it the next week or even the next month, then I'll go say it. However, I'm starting to realize that I don't actually need to say anything in some situations. Sometimes, I'm just looking for outside validation.

U-turn

You never know how good you have it until someone else shows you how bad it could be. This is how I'm feeling right now about my current relationship. I know before I said not everyone we date were meant to be, but maybe some are. Some are there to show you and reinforce that you did make the right decision. Me, I'm still learning about myself and who I can trust and lean on. I'm figuring out that enjoying time with someone and doing absolutely nothing but still happy is not easy to find. Right now, I'm very unsatisfied and wish I knew before that it wasn't always like what I had before. However, I am glad it happened. I'm glad for the mistakes. I'm glad for the bit of freedom. Now, I just have to make another decision and walk down whatever road I choose for myself. I don't want my future children to say their mother was scared or just did what she was told. I want them to be inspired to live a life they have no regrets about. So my advice to you and to myself is it is never too late to learn your lesson and that every stage in life we will change and adapt and it's okay to change your mind. This is not a test. Enjoy life.

Dream Destroyers

As I try to plan my next career move to Japan, I can't help but notice all the people who doubt and distract me and try to discourage me. I can't say that they have been unsuccessful. I think, when people see that you are doing great or better than them or even accomplishing your own dream they'll try to tear that dream down, try to make you doubt yourself. I have been told to get a full-time job, to go get my PhD, but not one has encouraged me to get to where I want to go. It's very surprising that no one says, congrats on getting closer to your dream of making a difference in the refugee community. It saddens me that no one has asked me what my dream is and I have let all these others voices have an impact on what I do besides my own. Well, today those voices will be ignored. I'm dusting off that old dream and putting it in the forefront of my to-do list. I was worried before about not having enough money for my future, but who knows what that future is. And if I have God on my side, I don't have anything to fear. I'm not going to let distractions... other people, entertainment, family or friends to deter me any longer. I just pray that others will see and be encouraged and become dream builders.

Wrong Way

Not every relationship we've had is meant to be. Personally, not all of my boyfriends should have been boyfriends. I would have much rather have gotten to know them a little bit better before jumping into a relationship. I ultimately had to end things when I realized they weren't the person I thought they were. This is just something that I was thinking about. I guess we call them mistakes, but also they have been learning bumps. I've learned that way too often, I just jump into relationships with people I barely know. Not that it's happen a million times. I've only had about five, if you want to get technical about it. I usually try to get to know people, but sometimes I think I get lazy or I just want to not think so much. Sometimes I wish we could just go back in time, when our parents picked out the person we were to marry. Not that every person was nice and kind, but it'd take a lot of stress and pressure off of having to look for a potential mate. I have no clue what I shall do the next time I fancy a guy, but I know that no matter what, I will always have a way out. Besides that, read this: 7 ways

Spanish

I have a rule. If the person who enters the room doesn't speak the same language as those in the room. You change language. I feel like it's common courtesy. However, I was just told that when in his native country no one cares if people speak English, but when in America everyone says you have to speak English. I replied that it's different between friends, classmates, co-workers. However, this young man did not think so. I felt highly insulted, like I did not matter. So I told him to do whatever he wants. I'm not going to try to force others to abide by my rules. I just think it's nice to know that people care about you and want you to be able to join the conversation if possible. I guess not everyone feels that way. I know I'm a very open and friendly person, and I know everyone is not like that, I just thought the people I would call friends would understand. So if you speak another language include your friends and those around you. It may make someone feel better about themselves.

I Will Survive

"At first, I was afraid. I was petrified kept thinking I could ever live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong. And I learned how to get along."

This lyric inspires me and exemplifies what went through me these last couple of days. I was so stressed thinking I couldn't get through all the things that I needed to do. I always wanted to do something else like watch television or read a book or crochet. However, something came over me. I thought about all the things that I had to do and broke them down into days. It seems that all my huge problems were easily solved if I took one piece at a time. Just like when you're a child. You're parents don't just sit a huge steak in front of you and say eat. No, they cut it up into little pieces, little manageable, edible pieces. I think that happens to us sometimes, we try to take on big projects and think we have to wrestle this huge bear when it's really just a little lamb that needs taking care of. So when stressed or feeling overwhelmed break it down and take a look at what little pieces you can get done to make the task a little easier to handle.

Keep it Cool

When it comes to dating, I am no expert. However, I think what some girls lack is a relaxed mindset about it. Don't go crazy over a guy just because he just happens to look your way. If you find a man attractive go up to him and introduce yourself and get to know the man. He's not gonna bite, hopefully. I have come to find that the more you know about a person, the more the imaginary person you envisioned in your head goes away and the real person becomes apparent. Then you are truly able to tell whether you'd like to embark on a wild adventure called a relationship/courtship, whatever you wanna call it. This has helped me so much. I have prevented making rush decisions, stalker walks around buildings and adding strangers on facebook. It's like when you're on a diet and you have a craving for something. Wait a week and see if you still want that thing you were craving. Sometimes it does last, and you may run into the person again. Just keep the conversation light, don't plan any weddings. Plan to do group activities so you can see how he interacts with others. See if you have common interests. And if you don't find your soulmate in this guy, hey, you may just have a new friend who also has friends who may be your "soul mate". I actually don't believe in soulmates. I think there may be several people out there who could your match, it just depends on what you want. We're very complex creatures with different puzzle pieces that make us whole. And one person can't fit with each of those pieces, you might have someone who fits well with one or two and to me that's good enough, as long as they inspire you and make you wanna be a better person. I will not settle for just okay, I want extraordinary. I wanna make magic with my potential partner, not just between us, but with others around us. I want to make a difference and inspire change.